Awesome

I don't mention my husband on Facebook a lot because he doesn't like people knowing his business... haha, okay babe, whatever.

But this is a less public format so I'm gonna go crazy!

My husband is one of the most patient, understanding and empathetic people that I know, I don't deserve him but I'm so glad I've got him. 

I don't get to do big splashy things for him for his birthday (April 13th) because he doesn't like the attention. I think I've got him to let me do a family party for next year though, we are making progress!

He really doesn't want me to make a big  deal out of the promotion that he just got, but I'm so proud of him that it is hard for me not to. I want to sing from the roof tops how amazing he is, the youngest manager in the entire district.

A good friend mentioned that while they were talking about his promotion, he was so excited but not because of the title or the increase in his salary...but because now he could help me more. I started crying when my friend told me that, he never once thought of how this would affect him, but how it would affect US. 

It's been hard working full time and going to school full time, it's even harder when there is something really good at home and you want to be there more than anything. Armando has offered many, many times to get a second job, third job and side jobs to allow me to stop working so much and concentrate on school. I have just never felt comfortable with it, allowing him to shoulder all the responsibility of our financial situation. We don't have kids, I am physically able to work and I feel like I need to help provide for us. 

The fact that he wants to do this is what humbles me. He doesn't want me frazzled about my schedule or deadlines, he is willing to take on the extra stress to relieve it from me. Amazing, I told you!

Squinting into the sun... not scuzzing the camera off

Old People

When did they get so old?
I have had the good luck in my life to be able to know both sets of my grandparents. I take it for granted that everyone gets this luxury. I've recently realized how old I am getting, and it set things into perspective of how old that makes everyone around me, my parents and grandparents in particular.
What will I do when they aren't there?
Who will I talk (yell) at on the phone because she can't hear me when I call to say 'Hi'...."NO I'M FINE GRANDMA.....YES, MONDO IS OK TOO..... YES I'M EATING PLENTY..." While the whole store turns to stare at me yell into my phone.

Who else would I be willing to watch Fox news with when I go over to their house? Who is the only person I respect too much to mention that Sean Hannity is an ass-hat and 99.9% of the shiz that comes out of his mouth is lies?? My grandpa, that's who. I would rather watch Bonanza than that crap and thank my lucky stars when they are watching the western channel when I swing by.

For some reason the Sandovals never smile in photos... it's going to hard to explain how happy they always were when all of the pictures I have of them look like mug shots. 

The Archuletas are just as quirky and full of life. 

I will never forget when my grandpa called my future brother-in-law Casey by the name Guy for about the first five years they dated. This was just one step up from his previous name: Jive Turkey.

My grandma is so funny with her little sound effects that she makes and the fact that she will sit through an entire conversation with you, nodding her head in the appropriate places and agreeing with you... and when you ask very loudly if she has her hearing aid in... she smiles and says "No".

Still dancing the night away

My cute little mom and grandma

I've been living my life and forgetting that as I'm getting older, they are too. Health problems and other signs of age are creeping their ugly heads up and it's making me panic because I realize: they won't be here forever.

My grandma has had a pretty severe stroke this last year and it has left her weak and sped up the memory problems that she was already struggling with. She's recently been signed up with hospice services and it breaks my heart. I know in my head that she could be on hospice for a long time and it doesn't necessarily mean that she will be going soon, but I can't help but feel that fear clutch at my throat that she may not be with us for long. She may never get to meet my kids and I don't know how I can deal with that.

She had her stroke the week before I was getting married and the week I was supposed to start school. I remember going to her house to check on her because she had been falling and was having a hard time remembering things. As soon as I saw her I knew, something was wrong. I took her in my car to the ER and I just remember her holding my hand the whole time up to the hospital and she just started crying. My grandma has always been so strong when it has come to her own health problems, never wanting anyone to worry about her, she has always been the caregiver.
I know it isn't possible to keep my grandparents around forever, but I'm selfish and I want it anyway.

The Babe

I used to play softball... Every summer I signed up and played. For the last few years I have said "I want to start playing again" and then never did. I seen the adult leagues at the park by house and wanted to just go join in.
My work started a softball team this year and I am going to start playing. I am excited and kind of worried I may break a bone or so cause it's been so long since I've played. Since I'm playing with all of the physical and occupational therapy staff and a couple of our management, I'm sure it'll be ok. At least this time around my two sisters won't be heckling the other team from the stands... I hope.

I was FaceBook stalking one of my friends and came across this old picture, we were Weber County champions that year... maybe like ten years ago? Of the two brown kids, I am the shorter, lighter one. I loved playing with my friends and getting yelled at by my huge coach, Gordon... BreeAnn and Tara's moms were probably scarier than Gordon though. This was also the year I line drived one of my friends on an opposite team...oops!

Patience.... is a virtue

So... I'm a little impatient... Anyone who knows me can tell you this. It's not something I do on purpose, I just feel like if we are going to do something... Let's do it NOW! Why not?!
It's been the key to my successes and also one of my greatest downfalls.
I am always so pumped to do things that, oddly enough, they get done. Whenever I set my mind on something it would take a train derailment to keep me from my goal.
On the flip side of that, people can take my enthusiasm for being pushy...a fact I didn't learn until my early adulthood. I just assumed everyone thought the same way I did, a million miles a minute.
This good/evil trait of mine was highlighted when my then-boyfriend and I started talking about marriage. I would like to take this moment to mention that HE brought it up. I was fine taking things slow, I wanted a breather from the intense/awful/scarring relationship I had just gotten out of, and then one day Armando brings up marriage and how he could see us together, well I agreed. I could see myself being married to this man and having little brown kids to run around my house. Again, I want to remind you... he planted the seed... it was my little fertilizer brain that let it grow...
I figured, well hell, if we are going to get married, let's do this shiz now. Then when I finish school we can buy a house and start having kids and .... pretty soon this poor man who brought up a conversation about commitment suddenly finds himself married with children in a mini-van and coaching soccer on the weekends.
Things start to snowball when I get an idea in my head. I need/want to be able to take life as it is and not try to rush through everything in order to say I reached the finish line. I want to have babies, I really can't describe how much I want a little version of my husband running around my house, with this in mind: I enjoy being together with my husband- just the two of us. I know that we aren't always going to have these lazy days where we sleep in and spend all day in our PJs and messed up pelos just being together. I should savor this time, because once we do have kids it will never be the same. It will be different and probably more special in ways, but I want to slow down and keep these moments in my heart for now... we will hold off on baby making- for now... that doesn't mean we have to stop practicing though! :D

Really?!

Is it just me? Am I the only one that feels like this? In all reality I have accomplished a lot in my short 25 years, but I somehow thought I would be Super Woman'ing by now... Why do I feel like I'm behind???

Going to take a few deep breaths..... and be grateful for what I have instead of worrying about what I don't have. 

Okay, much better