So... I'm a little impatient... Anyone who knows me can tell you this. It's not something I do on purpose, I just feel like if we are going to do something... Let's do it NOW! Why not?!
It's been the key to my successes and also one of my greatest downfalls.
I am always so pumped to do things that, oddly enough, they get done. Whenever I set my mind on something it would take a train derailment to keep me from my goal.
On the flip side of that, people can take my enthusiasm for being pushy...a fact I didn't learn until my early adulthood. I just assumed everyone thought the same way I did, a million miles a minute.
This good/evil trait of mine was highlighted when my then-boyfriend and I started talking about marriage. I would like to take this moment to mention that HE brought it up. I was fine taking things slow, I wanted a breather from the intense/awful/scarring relationship I had just gotten out of, and then one day Armando brings up marriage and how he could see us together, well I agreed. I could see myself being married to this man and having little brown kids to run around my house. Again, I want to remind you... he planted the seed... it was my little fertilizer brain that let it grow...
I figured, well hell, if we are going to get married, let's do this shiz now. Then when I finish school we can buy a house and start having kids and .... pretty soon this poor man who brought up a conversation about commitment suddenly finds himself married with children in a mini-van and coaching soccer on the weekends.
Things start to snowball when I get an idea in my head. I need/want to be able to take life as it is and not try to rush through everything in order to say I reached the finish line. I want to have babies, I really can't describe how much I want a little version of my husband running around my house, with this in mind: I enjoy being together with my husband- just the two of us. I know that we aren't always going to have these lazy days where we sleep in and spend all day in our PJs and messed up pelos just being together. I should savor this time, because once we do have kids it will never be the same. It will be different and probably more special in ways, but I want to slow down and keep these moments in my heart for now... we will hold off on baby making- for now... that doesn't mean we have to stop practicing though! :D
No comments:
Post a Comment