Oh God...

Over the last few years I have been missing something,  it took me awhile to figure out what it was.
Utah is predominately LDS, the Mormons, and it's not easy growing up in a culture that is so different from your own... especially when you aren't completely comfortable in your own. I was raised Catholic and didn't agree with a lot of their teachings- I questioned my Faith and instead of trying to strengthen my foundation the church turned me away from religion completely. The last time I stood in a Catholic church was when my sister was married in 2011. Before that I can't even remember.
I finally found a church where I feel comfortable being myself and also feel like I am truly in the presence of God. A regular old Christian church that welcomes one and all- no judgement,  no condemnation just a gathering of people who want to be closer to God.
I haven't changed my ways or how I feel about life, but I do feel better giving a little bit of my time each Sunday to think of God and what blessings I do have. This is kind of a weird post- not meant to make anyone laugh but I just feel like sometimes when this life gets a little too hard to handle alone it really does help to give it up to God.
I'm not wanting to cram any beliefs down anyone's throats but just like anything else in my life it just felt right to share, so thanks for letting me

Love and Mummies

Armando likes to surprise me... sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes not so much.
We planned our Valentine's day for the Sunday after because of work and other plans.  I had no idea what house plans were.  As we started driving downtown SLC, I started looking around and saw an advertisement for a new Mummy Exhibit at The Leonardo. I love this kind of stuff and told Mondo we should go. He called me a dork and said "When are we supposed to go to something like that?" I thought he was just being a butt so I started to expound on the virtues of the Ancient Egyptians and how amazing they were to do what they did. As I am trying to push his buttons... we pull into Library Square and I realize I've been had... we are going to see mummies!
I'm amazed at how this man knows me better than I know myself. He loves me unconditionally, chooses to be with me on this journey through life. It makes me feel very grateful for the things I do have in this life and appreciate the time we are getting to have together.
The exhibit was spectacular and very informative... I loved it. Then we went shopping at Gateway and then to see a movie- great day all around :)

Lame Sauce on a Crap Sandwich

I know that isn't the most inviting post title but it is kind of how I am feeling.
I have been successfully ovulating for the last three months with the higher dose of Clomid... until this month.
I got my blood taken to make sure everything was going according to plan and it shows I didn't ovulate... That may also be my own fault for getting my blood work done late- damn counting days- but my NP says that she doesn't think my levels would be that low even if I was a few days late- Boo.
One thing that I had come across when I was researching Clomid and deciding if I even wanted to take it was that a woman's body can become tolerant of Clomid and it shouldn't be used for more than six months at a time. This is the fifth month- I'm scared that I've already become tolerant of it and it won't work... and then I don't know what else I am supposed to try from there. I have one more month with my NP before she refers me to an Endocrinologist or Fertility Specialist- both of which gives me anxiety thinking about.
So for now I am just waiting.... for my period to start (Yay?!) which is unfortunate because if I really didn't ovulate it won't happen... and I'll get my hopes up that I'm pregnant :( Boo
For the millionth time, I just wish my body would do what it is supposed to do... is it that hard?

Valentines Schmalentines

My husband hates gifts, he doesn't like romantic gestures and every time there is an event or holiday which involves presents/shows of affection he says "I'm fine, Don't get me anything".
For the most part I ignore him :)
I have had to tell him that a gift is just as much for the giver as the recipient and to just shut up and enjoy the fact that someone wants to give him something that isn't a punch in the nose.
To make it seem as if I love my husband for more than the one day a year that we 'celebrate' love, I decided to drag out Valentine's day this year...
I did "14 Days of Love" for my husband. I know that he doesn't like gifts and is trying to eat better (i.e. no candy) so I have made him 14 cards and in each one I have put something that I love about him or a memory of ours together. At first he said they were cheesy- but now he is coming home from work/play and looking for them. It makes my heart happy :)