Saturday, November 30, 2013

Grief




I am the youngest of the grandkids and therefore renamed 'Hot Lava Monster', I was the little one that no one wanted to play with- so I spent a lot of time with my Grandma and Grandpa when we spent the weekends at their house. I cooked with my grandma and gardened with my grandpa.
I think about it now and I marvel at these people, they always told us yes when we asked to stay at their house- there would be at least 4-8 of us grandkids there. They fed us, entertained us and never called our parents to come pick up our loud asses from their house.
I get worn out watching my nephew for a few hours- so now I can appreciate how much love and patience she had for us.
She had a stroke two years ago, the week before my wedding, and has been slowly declining ever since. First it was a little of her motion and speech and has progressed until the point where she was unable to get around without a wheelchair and assistance, her memory was almost completely gone and would often just start speaking to us in Spanish, even though we all speak English.
Getting a call saying that Grandma isn't doing well wasn't really a surprise, but it was still a shock to my system when I got there and she was unable to even speak or hold herself up in her chair. She'd never get back up out of that bed.
She passed away on November 14th and it breaks my heart to know that my son will never get to know her like I knew her. He will never get to yell at her for eating cookies even though she was Diabetic. He won't have to tell her "No, I'm not hungry, we just ate" and then spend the next 30 minutes dodging food until you finally just gave in and made a plate. He won't get special home made cakes with all the fancy frosting- I can try, but it just won't be the same.
I feel as if I mourned my grandma two years ago, she was never herself after the stroke. What I am mourning for is my grandpa. When my grandma was still with us and not doing well, I asked my grandpa if he was ok, what he said broke my heart.
He told me, "I didn't deserve her. She was a loyal woman, a good woman, I had 63 years with her and it was more than I could have asked for." Then he cried.
My dad has always told me he never wanted to go to a viewing for his parents, I was worried that he wouldn't go. He pulled through, I think for my grandpa. I watched the two strongest men in my life break down and it shook me to my core.
Going through the pictures, the memories I realized how much I want to be like her. Love and food can cure most things and that's what people will remember about you. 

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