Tanning Baby

...Bilirubin is the yellow breakdown product of normal haeme catabolism. Haeme is found in hemoglobin, a principal component of red blood cells. Bilirubin is excreted in bile and urine, and elevated levels may indicate certain diseases...
Jaundice is the side effect of elevated levels of bilirubin. Jaundice makes babies yellow.... When you are Hispanic you tend to have a yellow skin-tone anyway and you may mistakenly miss that your child is in fact- yellow.
When we left the hospital he was low-risk and we never thought anything of it. At his first appointment the Dr. checked his levels and said that his 'yellow skin tone' is probably because Armando and I are Hispanic.
I got a phone call that night:
Is this Dominic's Mom?
Yes
This is ------ calling from Wee Care Pediatrics, PA Pace wanted us to call you with his lab results.
Okay
What hospital do you want to go to?
Excuse me?! What Hospital?!?
Oh.... yeah. You need to get Dominic's labs drawn- so what hospital would you like us to send these orders to?

I know she calls a million people a day and I know she really didn't mean to scare the shiz out of me, but good hell woman! Start out with: PA Pace would like to get his labs checked by a hospital lab.... Which hospital would you like us to send it to?

So we go to the hospital lab and get checked in, walk to the lab and my first heart palpitation came when the kid walking us into the lab asks some other guy in scrubs, "Hey, do you want to help me with this draw?"
(Someone going to poke your child should never ask someone for help)
Next heart palpitation came when he and other guy sat at the computer and wondered aloud "How do you put this lab in? I've never drawn this lab before... What is it under??"
(Someone going to poke your child should never say they don't know what they're doing)
So now I am worried and so I go back with Dom to get his blood drawn. Expecting another heel stick I pull his sock off... Other guy says "Nope, we need arterial blood for this draw- He wants a CBC, Bili and blah. blah. blah..."
Uncertain Guy decides he is going to be the one to do it... I watched as he cleaned my son's arm.... whole arm... with alcohol. scoped out his wrist.... hand.... elbow.... wrist.... hand.....It took everything in me to not freak out.... I kindly looked at him and said "You get one try, if you miss... you get someone else". Uncertain guy chooses the hand and proceeds to stab my son with a butterfly needle.
No blood
Pulls back---- No blood
Pushes in, pulls back---- No blood
I am starting to get antsy and Other Guy notices- comes over to help. Between the two of them they get 1mL of blood and blow my son's vein... Then they inform me that this isn't enough blood for the necessary tests- he must get stuck again.
Other Guy is now up to bat and he is successful.
The next phone call from Wee Care Pediatrics is not good news. Dom's levels are 20mg/dL- a level high enough to require phototherapy- Bili-lights.
Someone from Intermountain Home Medical comes to the house and sets us up with his little suitcase of tanning lights.
We have to strip him down to his diaper, shove this mask over his eyes and make him lie in a suitcase all night...
Dominic HATED the mask- he just cried and cried the saddest little cry, which in turn made mama cry the saddest little cry... Armando, bless his heart, had to do the mean part and shove him in the mask. I sat in the bathroom and bawled until it was done. Seeing him so helpless in the little suitcase made me very emotional (Crying my eyes out) so I had to sleep in the bedroom while Armando slept on the couch next to the lights, waking me up to feed the poor baby.

Randy standing guard

Poor Baby

Thank goodness he only needed the lights for one day- his levels went down and have been normal ever since.... Mommy and daddy now know what yellow is normal and what yellow is not normal :)

Boobies!

Quick lesson in breastfeeding:

No milk right away

Just colostrum; super dense-vitamin/immunity packed goo, which is ok since baby's belly is the size of a marble anyway. It's pretty weird looking- not at all what you expect 'breast milk' to look like.

Milk comes in on about Day 3 

All at once in the middle of the night so you go to bed a full pregnancy-C cup and wake up effing Kim Kardashian. 

Engorgement sucks

Up until your milk comes in it's all sunshine and roses- baby gets full quickly because his little belly is tiny, boobs are pleasant.... DUN DUN DUN- when the milk comes in they are full, hard and sore as a mofo. Everytime you feed or pump to get rid of engorgement- it signals your body to.... make MORE milk. I know, I know- that's what it is supposed to do but dayum- the girls would just like one night of peaceful sleep where they don't wake up feeling like they just got used in a soccer game.

It Hurts!

I don't care who tells you it doesn't hurt if you are doing it right- they are LIARS! My son is a natural with his wide open little mouth, pink lips all around the edges- we have the stance perfected! His chin and nose touch by big ol' boobie, resting on our little pillow and..... IT HURTS. It has taken me a month and countless blogs/posts to discover this: My son is an aggressive eater. All of these articles say "Two weeks" or "Three Weeks" it will stop hurting, "Use Lanolin" "Use heat packs" "Use ice packs" etc, etc... I finally seen one lady in the comments say: " My first two kids were easy- after about two weeks the soreness went away. My third child was just an aggressive eater, he had a strong jaw that just worked by poor breast/nipple- it went away after about six weeks"

Well, Hell... two more weeks I guess. He is so adorable though, I can't fault him. He attacks the boob like I've been starving him and them makes yummy sounds the whole time he eats- I adore him.

I feel your pain Mama Piggy

You leak

Once you do start making real milk it comes in with a vengeance, since you are new at this it has no regard to where you are, what time it is or who you are with when it decides to let down. Getting out of the shower and hear the baby cry? Boobs say "Let it out!!" Feeding on right side?? Left boob says "Let it out!!"

My sister tells me, "Just wait til you try to have sexy time again and you leak!" Oh man, something else to look forward to.

Pumping isn't easier

Eventually I will return to work, hopefully to 2-twelve hour shifts instead of 5-eight hour shifts. I decided to try and stockpile a milk supply. The pump hurts too!! If not worse than nursing. The pump isn't some sweet-smelling darling at your breast, it is a whirring angry robot sucking you dry- it pulls your whole nipple into the cone shaped contraption- PS your body doesn't like the pump so you have to trick it to let down milk- I found feeding on one side and pumping at the same time on the other helps. If I am engorged and my little fella isn't hungry??? I have to o literally squeeze the milk out of my breast- one blogger suggested "Squeeze those babies like lemons ladies". I would get so frustrated when I was only pumping ½ - 1 ounce every time, but now that I am getting 5 ounces- I feel that my child won't starve when I go back to work.

You are a milk machine

You will have a child attached to your chest for the majority of your days. Errands will be strategically spaced between feedings and you may have to stop in a parking lot to feed a hungry baby. You will pump ounces of milk and try to get every last drop out of the bottle because you made it and it is liquid gold. 

It's incredible

All joking aside, it's amazing to be able to breastfeed. You get this warm little wriggling body and he clings to your hand or grabs onto your chain and you feel his breath on you and smell his sweet scent. I feel bad that men don't get to do this- so ladies- let your partner bond however else they want to, because they miss out on this.

Baby Day

December 27, 2013
I woke up several times throughout the night, as I had been for the last few weeks. Having to pee every few hours and just feeling my belly contract while trying to get comfortable.
Around 5:57 I had a contraction that was noticeable- noticeable enough to wake me up. When I had a few I started timing them... around every 5 minutes. After a half hour I got up, drank some water and got in the shower. Either they would stop or at least I would be clean when I got out and told Armando we needed to go to the hospital.
In the 20 minute shower I took I had 5 contractions and passed a blood clot... shit.
I got out and got dressed, woke Mondo up and said if he wanted to shower he better hurry because we needed to get to the hospital.
I called my sister Jeni because I knew it might take her a while to get to the hospital, especially if she had to find someone to watch Wes, my nephew.
I waited until Armando and I were in the car to call my mom, I knew she would get anxious and I didn't want her to show up at the hospital before we did... She didn't answer!
I called my dad, the same man who had been texting/calling me several times a day asking if I was ok, Are you in labor? Didn't answer.
These people had been non-stop worrying about missing me going into labor for weeks and now that the moment had arrived they weren't answering their phones... smh.
While checking into labor and delivery my contractions were coming about every 2 minutes- noticeable and consistent but still not anything like I had imagined going into labor would be.
A friend of a friend of ours, Amy, checked us in. Informing us that her favorite delivery room was occupied she kindly moved us down the hall from that lady- she was an induction and had brought her mother, husband and four other children to join her. I will forever be grateful to Amy for keeping those kids away from me that morning :D
When my nurse came in she seemed short with me but competent, I pulled a trick I learned from Armando and started the dialogue to soften her up.

I'm sorry, I didn't get your name??
I'm Christy.
Oh hi Christy! So nice to meet you. This is my husband Armando.
Nice to meet you, go ahead and get changed and I'll come and check you.
Thanks so much Christy, I'll hurry so you can get started. 

I have watched my husband do this at restaurants with pissy waiters all the time. Calling them by their name and letting them know that you just want to be helpful and happy makes them change their attitude pretty quick and they will usually go out of their way to be friendly.

A few of the nurses I work with at the surgical center used to work in L&D and asked me to text them when I went in, so I did. One of them asked me who my nurse was and when  I told her, she said "Oh good, I know her. She's great. I'll text her and let her know that you work here and to give you the royal treatment"

When Christy came back in to check on me, she was all smiles and asked me how I knew Janalee.

I had a lot of things that I wanted and didn't want- I didn't want to be that pain in the arse patient but I also didn't want to be pushed into things I didn't want.

When she went to start my IV she listened to me about not wanting an 18 gauge in my hand and was able to start it in my wrist, where I knew I had bigger veins. She let me have a heparin-lock instead of hanging fluid and only hooked me up while an antibiotic ran (I was GBS+).
Once I was changed into a gown and she was able to do a cervical check she informed me that I was dilated to a 7 and she was surprised that my water hadn't broken already.
Labor is going to be awesome if I'm already dilated to a 7 and I am just chillin', no real pain... awesome!
Oh how naive...
Jen shows up to the hospital and we sit and chat and talk about how funny it would be if my parents missed the baby because they didn't answer the phone.
We are finally able to get ahold of my parents and they both show up to the hospital. My dad informs me that he doesn't want to see me in pain and is going to be outta there as soon as it gets iffy.
My mom is getting over a cold so she asks for a mask. She looks adorable in her little purple outfit and blue mask.

Poor mom, not really knowing what to do :)

When Stacie, the midwife, gets there about 10 or so, she checks me as well. Since I'm almost completely effaced and dilated to a 9 she offers to break my water, after she states that "things will go quick" once my water is broken, I agree.

Stacie telling me I'm 'Winning' because I'm further 

along than her induction next door, yay me!

She comes back in around 11:30 and breaks my water- since I was so dilated anyway I didn't even feel it- except for a gush of fluid.
After this the contractions started getting a little more intense, but I was able to breathe through them.

Each one is getting stronger and I'm feeling more and more pressure. I ask Christy to check me and see if I can start pushing yet- things are starting to freakin' hurt!
She says that things are about the same and suggests squatting at the bedside or bracing myself over the edge of the bed. Jennifer makes a statement about how I should have been doing my squats... I believe I may have said something along the lines of "I can't do f#@&*#% squats"... or something like that.
Armando and Christy help me brace myself over the back of the bed and damned if it doesn't help. I'm up on my knees in between each contraction and with each contraction I can go to my knees and use the bed to brace against while I breathe through the contraction.

I get up to the bathroom and empty my bladder, another Christy suggestion, and get back into bed. She calls Stacie into the room because apparently at this time I am making 'pushing' sounds.
All I know is I tell someone to close the door because I can hear Induction Lady's kids running up and down the hall, don't want anyone but Armando touching me- but not during a contraction, and will someone please turn off the sound on their phone?!
They flip me on my back and when I start to push it hurts so bad in my lower back that I have to put a pillow under it. After a few ineffective pushes, Stacie suggests leaning the bed back so I am pushing out, not down.
It hurts so badly to lie flat, Christy suggests that I pull my thighs back towards myself to help... I inform her that I don't think I can do that so she grabs my left and Mondo grabs my right and they pull back with each contraction.
Jeni asks if I want the mirror so I can see the baby, but I'm exerting so much energy into pushing I can't even keep my eyes open during the contractions.
Each contraction gets harder to get through and I start to doubt that I can do this. Each time they say "One more push! He's almost here!" I want to cry out "Liars!!" when I hear no crying afterwards.
After a few more pushes Stacie says that if I get on all fours or my side it might shift the baby. There is no way I want to be ass-up when my son comes into the world- so I agree to go on my side. Christy still holds my left leg and Armando keeps talking to me and encouraging me on my right.
Stacie was right, once I flipped to my side I can feel the baby slide lower and lower with each contraction.
Apparently everyone can see his head, "He has a ton of hair!" they say... "Pull him out by his hair!" I say.
Each contraction is harder and harder go get through, I start sobbing at the end of each one. I can literally feel his head almost coming out, just to slide back when I can't continue the push, "Noooo!"
After an eternity, I get his head pushed out. They call it the ring of fire and there is a very good reason for that I can attest to it. I just thought to myself- I'm crazy- I did this with no drugs and now this child has ripped open my body. Everyone is so excited that the head is out and I'm just relieved that I don't have to push anymore.
Stacies tells me to push again for the body, I sob a little as I ask her "Can't you just pull him out?"
She laughs at me and says, "Sorry sis, You have to push him out"
I feel tremendous joy as I push again and feel his little body and the rest of the amniotic fluid gush out.

After that it was such a blur... I'm back on my back and this beautiful little person is placed on my chest. He is gurgling a little but, Oh my God- he is breathing and alive and here finally. I just stare at him and pray to God that I don't let him slip off of my chest. They let me hold him for a few minutes and then Stacie is having Armando cut the cord.

Thank God!

Once he is free, they take him to the warmer to measure and clean him up. Armando looks at me and I let him know it's ok to go with the baby, I'll be fine.
APGAR scores of 8 and 9
Seven pounds and ten ounces
Twenty and a half inches.

All of this is going on to my left as Stacie sits in between my legs to deliver the placenta. "Did I tear?" I fear the worst as I'm sure my entire body has been ripped in half- "Nope" she says, "Just a small cut on the side of the vaginal wall, but I'm not even going to stitch it. It should heal fine on it's own."
After I deliver the placenta, one more damn push, she says that I'm lucky he came out today. My placenta abrupted sometime during all the pushing and a bit of blood came out with him. 

Armando has been with the baby the whole time and I look over as I hear everyone start laughing. While they are measuring him he started to pee... it landed right on Daddy's favorite shoes :)
She asks if the Pitocin drip is ok now, and since I did a ten page paper in school on post-partum hemorrhaging... I agree to the IV. Then my sweet, dear nurse Christy does the most terrible thing in the world and starts stomping on my stomach- total TMI but, I can feel everything in my body gush from between my legs. Through all of the pain from her jumping on my uterus- I fear that I will flood the room with bodily fluids- surely if childbirth didn't kill me this will... but, alas; I am overreacting and I survive.
I get to watch the man I love hold our child, nothing prepares you for this overwhelming rush of emotion.

First family picture, I look like a refugee.

After a few minutes, my dad shoos everyone out of the room so that the three of us can get acquainted and choose a name. Oh yeah, we hadn't decided on a name yet... now seems like a good time.

Hoping, Wishing, Waiting

On our appointment for the 19th of December my midwife informed me that I was already dilated to 4cm, 90% effaced and the baby had dropped in station. I had been having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions but we were still so surprised.
After Armando picked his jaw up off of the floor, Stacie said, "We could have a babe by the end of the weekend!"
She also mentioned that my Group B Strep swab had come back positive. I asked what this meant, she said since nothing grew out it was probably not a big deal- but since I work in the medical field it was likely just colonized on my skin because I come in contact with so many people. "I'm surprised I don't have it" Stacie said, "I'm all up in vaginas all day long!" Because I wanted a vaginal birth I would have to have an antibiotic every four hours I was in labor as a preventative measure so that nothing was passed onto the baby.
I asked her if I needed a medical reason to start my FMLA today instead of waiting to go into labor- when she said no, I asked her to change my FMLA date to start the next day, December 20th. No way did I want to go into labor in front of my co-workers or god forbid a patient.
Mondo and I were so concerned about going into labor that he didn't go back into work that night, but stayed with me. I had inconsistent contractions thru the night, they never got closer together and didn't hurt so when it didn't happen that night I spent the next day at my parents house hanging out with them and counting the minutes until this little man made his debut...
It didn't happen.
And then it didn't happen Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday... Christmas day or the next.
Every day brought texts and calls from my parents, sisters and Armando while he was at work. The Christmas season is one of his busiest times and I'm sure the stress of a very pregnant wife who could go into labor "any moment now" wasn't helping. I finally stopped calling him at work because everytime I did his employees asked "Is it time!?" when they realized it was me.
When we showed up for our 38 week appointment on Thursday Stacie seemed surprised that we had made it through the week- so were we.
I asked her about stripping my membranes, separating the bag of waters from my uterus- "Oh, I did that last week. I can do it again though."
This time I was dilated 5cm, 95 % effaced and baby boy had dropped yet again.
We went out to eat after our appointment and pondered when this kid was going to show up, I just prayed he wouldn't stay until his original due date: January 5th.
I was okay with letting him come in his own time, but ever since our midwife had said he could come any time now- I was really looking forward to him being born- it was now making me anxious.