Boobies!

Quick lesson in breastfeeding:

No milk right away

Just colostrum; super dense-vitamin/immunity packed goo, which is ok since baby's belly is the size of a marble anyway. It's pretty weird looking- not at all what you expect 'breast milk' to look like.

Milk comes in on about Day 3 

All at once in the middle of the night so you go to bed a full pregnancy-C cup and wake up effing Kim Kardashian. 

Engorgement sucks

Up until your milk comes in it's all sunshine and roses- baby gets full quickly because his little belly is tiny, boobs are pleasant.... DUN DUN DUN- when the milk comes in they are full, hard and sore as a mofo. Everytime you feed or pump to get rid of engorgement- it signals your body to.... make MORE milk. I know, I know- that's what it is supposed to do but dayum- the girls would just like one night of peaceful sleep where they don't wake up feeling like they just got used in a soccer game.

It Hurts!

I don't care who tells you it doesn't hurt if you are doing it right- they are LIARS! My son is a natural with his wide open little mouth, pink lips all around the edges- we have the stance perfected! His chin and nose touch by big ol' boobie, resting on our little pillow and..... IT HURTS. It has taken me a month and countless blogs/posts to discover this: My son is an aggressive eater. All of these articles say "Two weeks" or "Three Weeks" it will stop hurting, "Use Lanolin" "Use heat packs" "Use ice packs" etc, etc... I finally seen one lady in the comments say: " My first two kids were easy- after about two weeks the soreness went away. My third child was just an aggressive eater, he had a strong jaw that just worked by poor breast/nipple- it went away after about six weeks"

Well, Hell... two more weeks I guess. He is so adorable though, I can't fault him. He attacks the boob like I've been starving him and them makes yummy sounds the whole time he eats- I adore him.

I feel your pain Mama Piggy

You leak

Once you do start making real milk it comes in with a vengeance, since you are new at this it has no regard to where you are, what time it is or who you are with when it decides to let down. Getting out of the shower and hear the baby cry? Boobs say "Let it out!!" Feeding on right side?? Left boob says "Let it out!!"

My sister tells me, "Just wait til you try to have sexy time again and you leak!" Oh man, something else to look forward to.

Pumping isn't easier

Eventually I will return to work, hopefully to 2-twelve hour shifts instead of 5-eight hour shifts. I decided to try and stockpile a milk supply. The pump hurts too!! If not worse than nursing. The pump isn't some sweet-smelling darling at your breast, it is a whirring angry robot sucking you dry- it pulls your whole nipple into the cone shaped contraption- PS your body doesn't like the pump so you have to trick it to let down milk- I found feeding on one side and pumping at the same time on the other helps. If I am engorged and my little fella isn't hungry??? I have to o literally squeeze the milk out of my breast- one blogger suggested "Squeeze those babies like lemons ladies". I would get so frustrated when I was only pumping ½ - 1 ounce every time, but now that I am getting 5 ounces- I feel that my child won't starve when I go back to work.

You are a milk machine

You will have a child attached to your chest for the majority of your days. Errands will be strategically spaced between feedings and you may have to stop in a parking lot to feed a hungry baby. You will pump ounces of milk and try to get every last drop out of the bottle because you made it and it is liquid gold. 

It's incredible

All joking aside, it's amazing to be able to breastfeed. You get this warm little wriggling body and he clings to your hand or grabs onto your chain and you feel his breath on you and smell his sweet scent. I feel bad that men don't get to do this- so ladies- let your partner bond however else they want to, because they miss out on this.

Baby Day

December 27, 2013
I woke up several times throughout the night, as I had been for the last few weeks. Having to pee every few hours and just feeling my belly contract while trying to get comfortable.
Around 5:57 I had a contraction that was noticeable- noticeable enough to wake me up. When I had a few I started timing them... around every 5 minutes. After a half hour I got up, drank some water and got in the shower. Either they would stop or at least I would be clean when I got out and told Armando we needed to go to the hospital.
In the 20 minute shower I took I had 5 contractions and passed a blood clot... shit.
I got out and got dressed, woke Mondo up and said if he wanted to shower he better hurry because we needed to get to the hospital.
I called my sister Jeni because I knew it might take her a while to get to the hospital, especially if she had to find someone to watch Wes, my nephew.
I waited until Armando and I were in the car to call my mom, I knew she would get anxious and I didn't want her to show up at the hospital before we did... She didn't answer!
I called my dad, the same man who had been texting/calling me several times a day asking if I was ok, Are you in labor? Didn't answer.
These people had been non-stop worrying about missing me going into labor for weeks and now that the moment had arrived they weren't answering their phones... smh.
While checking into labor and delivery my contractions were coming about every 2 minutes- noticeable and consistent but still not anything like I had imagined going into labor would be.
A friend of a friend of ours, Amy, checked us in. Informing us that her favorite delivery room was occupied she kindly moved us down the hall from that lady- she was an induction and had brought her mother, husband and four other children to join her. I will forever be grateful to Amy for keeping those kids away from me that morning :D
When my nurse came in she seemed short with me but competent, I pulled a trick I learned from Armando and started the dialogue to soften her up.

I'm sorry, I didn't get your name??
I'm Christy.
Oh hi Christy! So nice to meet you. This is my husband Armando.
Nice to meet you, go ahead and get changed and I'll come and check you.
Thanks so much Christy, I'll hurry so you can get started. 

I have watched my husband do this at restaurants with pissy waiters all the time. Calling them by their name and letting them know that you just want to be helpful and happy makes them change their attitude pretty quick and they will usually go out of their way to be friendly.

A few of the nurses I work with at the surgical center used to work in L&D and asked me to text them when I went in, so I did. One of them asked me who my nurse was and when  I told her, she said "Oh good, I know her. She's great. I'll text her and let her know that you work here and to give you the royal treatment"

When Christy came back in to check on me, she was all smiles and asked me how I knew Janalee.

I had a lot of things that I wanted and didn't want- I didn't want to be that pain in the arse patient but I also didn't want to be pushed into things I didn't want.

When she went to start my IV she listened to me about not wanting an 18 gauge in my hand and was able to start it in my wrist, where I knew I had bigger veins. She let me have a heparin-lock instead of hanging fluid and only hooked me up while an antibiotic ran (I was GBS+).
Once I was changed into a gown and she was able to do a cervical check she informed me that I was dilated to a 7 and she was surprised that my water hadn't broken already.
Labor is going to be awesome if I'm already dilated to a 7 and I am just chillin', no real pain... awesome!
Oh how naive...
Jen shows up to the hospital and we sit and chat and talk about how funny it would be if my parents missed the baby because they didn't answer the phone.
We are finally able to get ahold of my parents and they both show up to the hospital. My dad informs me that he doesn't want to see me in pain and is going to be outta there as soon as it gets iffy.
My mom is getting over a cold so she asks for a mask. She looks adorable in her little purple outfit and blue mask.

Poor mom, not really knowing what to do :)

When Stacie, the midwife, gets there about 10 or so, she checks me as well. Since I'm almost completely effaced and dilated to a 9 she offers to break my water, after she states that "things will go quick" once my water is broken, I agree.

Stacie telling me I'm 'Winning' because I'm further 

along than her induction next door, yay me!

She comes back in around 11:30 and breaks my water- since I was so dilated anyway I didn't even feel it- except for a gush of fluid.
After this the contractions started getting a little more intense, but I was able to breathe through them.

Each one is getting stronger and I'm feeling more and more pressure. I ask Christy to check me and see if I can start pushing yet- things are starting to freakin' hurt!
She says that things are about the same and suggests squatting at the bedside or bracing myself over the edge of the bed. Jennifer makes a statement about how I should have been doing my squats... I believe I may have said something along the lines of "I can't do f#@&*#% squats"... or something like that.
Armando and Christy help me brace myself over the back of the bed and damned if it doesn't help. I'm up on my knees in between each contraction and with each contraction I can go to my knees and use the bed to brace against while I breathe through the contraction.

I get up to the bathroom and empty my bladder, another Christy suggestion, and get back into bed. She calls Stacie into the room because apparently at this time I am making 'pushing' sounds.
All I know is I tell someone to close the door because I can hear Induction Lady's kids running up and down the hall, don't want anyone but Armando touching me- but not during a contraction, and will someone please turn off the sound on their phone?!
They flip me on my back and when I start to push it hurts so bad in my lower back that I have to put a pillow under it. After a few ineffective pushes, Stacie suggests leaning the bed back so I am pushing out, not down.
It hurts so badly to lie flat, Christy suggests that I pull my thighs back towards myself to help... I inform her that I don't think I can do that so she grabs my left and Mondo grabs my right and they pull back with each contraction.
Jeni asks if I want the mirror so I can see the baby, but I'm exerting so much energy into pushing I can't even keep my eyes open during the contractions.
Each contraction gets harder to get through and I start to doubt that I can do this. Each time they say "One more push! He's almost here!" I want to cry out "Liars!!" when I hear no crying afterwards.
After a few more pushes Stacie says that if I get on all fours or my side it might shift the baby. There is no way I want to be ass-up when my son comes into the world- so I agree to go on my side. Christy still holds my left leg and Armando keeps talking to me and encouraging me on my right.
Stacie was right, once I flipped to my side I can feel the baby slide lower and lower with each contraction.
Apparently everyone can see his head, "He has a ton of hair!" they say... "Pull him out by his hair!" I say.
Each contraction is harder and harder go get through, I start sobbing at the end of each one. I can literally feel his head almost coming out, just to slide back when I can't continue the push, "Noooo!"
After an eternity, I get his head pushed out. They call it the ring of fire and there is a very good reason for that I can attest to it. I just thought to myself- I'm crazy- I did this with no drugs and now this child has ripped open my body. Everyone is so excited that the head is out and I'm just relieved that I don't have to push anymore.
Stacies tells me to push again for the body, I sob a little as I ask her "Can't you just pull him out?"
She laughs at me and says, "Sorry sis, You have to push him out"
I feel tremendous joy as I push again and feel his little body and the rest of the amniotic fluid gush out.

After that it was such a blur... I'm back on my back and this beautiful little person is placed on my chest. He is gurgling a little but, Oh my God- he is breathing and alive and here finally. I just stare at him and pray to God that I don't let him slip off of my chest. They let me hold him for a few minutes and then Stacie is having Armando cut the cord.

Thank God!

Once he is free, they take him to the warmer to measure and clean him up. Armando looks at me and I let him know it's ok to go with the baby, I'll be fine.
APGAR scores of 8 and 9
Seven pounds and ten ounces
Twenty and a half inches.

All of this is going on to my left as Stacie sits in between my legs to deliver the placenta. "Did I tear?" I fear the worst as I'm sure my entire body has been ripped in half- "Nope" she says, "Just a small cut on the side of the vaginal wall, but I'm not even going to stitch it. It should heal fine on it's own."
After I deliver the placenta, one more damn push, she says that I'm lucky he came out today. My placenta abrupted sometime during all the pushing and a bit of blood came out with him. 

Armando has been with the baby the whole time and I look over as I hear everyone start laughing. While they are measuring him he started to pee... it landed right on Daddy's favorite shoes :)
She asks if the Pitocin drip is ok now, and since I did a ten page paper in school on post-partum hemorrhaging... I agree to the IV. Then my sweet, dear nurse Christy does the most terrible thing in the world and starts stomping on my stomach- total TMI but, I can feel everything in my body gush from between my legs. Through all of the pain from her jumping on my uterus- I fear that I will flood the room with bodily fluids- surely if childbirth didn't kill me this will... but, alas; I am overreacting and I survive.
I get to watch the man I love hold our child, nothing prepares you for this overwhelming rush of emotion.

First family picture, I look like a refugee.

After a few minutes, my dad shoos everyone out of the room so that the three of us can get acquainted and choose a name. Oh yeah, we hadn't decided on a name yet... now seems like a good time.

Hoping, Wishing, Waiting

On our appointment for the 19th of December my midwife informed me that I was already dilated to 4cm, 90% effaced and the baby had dropped in station. I had been having tons of Braxton Hicks contractions but we were still so surprised.
After Armando picked his jaw up off of the floor, Stacie said, "We could have a babe by the end of the weekend!"
She also mentioned that my Group B Strep swab had come back positive. I asked what this meant, she said since nothing grew out it was probably not a big deal- but since I work in the medical field it was likely just colonized on my skin because I come in contact with so many people. "I'm surprised I don't have it" Stacie said, "I'm all up in vaginas all day long!" Because I wanted a vaginal birth I would have to have an antibiotic every four hours I was in labor as a preventative measure so that nothing was passed onto the baby.
I asked her if I needed a medical reason to start my FMLA today instead of waiting to go into labor- when she said no, I asked her to change my FMLA date to start the next day, December 20th. No way did I want to go into labor in front of my co-workers or god forbid a patient.
Mondo and I were so concerned about going into labor that he didn't go back into work that night, but stayed with me. I had inconsistent contractions thru the night, they never got closer together and didn't hurt so when it didn't happen that night I spent the next day at my parents house hanging out with them and counting the minutes until this little man made his debut...
It didn't happen.
And then it didn't happen Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday... Christmas day or the next.
Every day brought texts and calls from my parents, sisters and Armando while he was at work. The Christmas season is one of his busiest times and I'm sure the stress of a very pregnant wife who could go into labor "any moment now" wasn't helping. I finally stopped calling him at work because everytime I did his employees asked "Is it time!?" when they realized it was me.
When we showed up for our 38 week appointment on Thursday Stacie seemed surprised that we had made it through the week- so were we.
I asked her about stripping my membranes, separating the bag of waters from my uterus- "Oh, I did that last week. I can do it again though."
This time I was dilated 5cm, 95 % effaced and baby boy had dropped yet again.
We went out to eat after our appointment and pondered when this kid was going to show up, I just prayed he wouldn't stay until his original due date: January 5th.
I was okay with letting him come in his own time, but ever since our midwife had said he could come any time now- I was really looking forward to him being born- it was now making me anxious.

Getting Maternal

Some very good friends of ours offered to take some maternity pictures for us, and they came out beautiful!

All of their work is fantastic, I recommend them to anyone and everyone :)

Thanks again Mike & Stina!

http://ohsnapphotographyut.blogspot.com/

https://www.facebook.com/OhSnapPhotographyUT

Fun Things to do When You're Prego...

1. Go to the liquor store- The scuzzy looks alone are worth it- I can buy wine/beer for other people ya know! I may even, GASP, cook with it!
I was almost tempted to say something like "Where's your cigarettes?"
2. Grab huge belly and say "Whoa!" just to freak out the jerk who just tried to cut you off in the Target checkout line.
3. Use it as an excuse... "You want a 9½ month pregnant woman to drive in a blizzard to DirecTV's billing office to fix something that YOU should have never done in the first place?" "Uh, no ma'am- I can fix it over the phone" That's what I thought! (PS, this is the only time I used my pregnancy as a way to get something- after 1½ hours and 2 different people on the phone, I felt it was warranted)
4. Eat a completely disgusting meal with no regrets: Pistachios, grapes, nachos and SweeTarts was one such combination. (I eat a very healthy and balanced diet otherwise- don't judge me!)
5. Record your husband's face when the midwife says you are dilated to 4cm and may have a baby by the end of the weekend... Priceless!
6. Punch the ten thousandth person who tells you that you: Look too small for how pregnant you are, Don't look old enough to be pregnant (I'm 27 ya'all), Shouldn't be working this far into your pregnancy, Should really have a name picked out by now OR gives you any other stupid, inane and otherwise unsolicited advice about your fetus.
7. Tell people fake names you are thinking about giving your child so they stop asking you. "Yep, we just really feel like Thor is a really strong name"
8. When someone nervously asks you how far along you are, deadpan say "I'm not pregnant" and walk away.
9. When someone judges your diet, "I never ________ when I was pregnant!" Kindly point out that they probably shouldn't be eating that cheeseburger/fries/shake combo now that they aren't pregnant.
10. Tell your husband you've changed your mind regarding circumcision :)

Showering Baby

My sisters and mom held a baby shower for me and it was pretty great. You never know if people are going to make it and since we did it the weekend of Thanksgiving I was worried it would just be me and my sisters sitting around a table eating :) We planned it for the holiday weekend so that Becky would be able to be there. I am really happy that both my sisters were there for me.

Tons of family and friends showed up and supported this little guy that is currently sticking his arse in my ribs- We really are very blessed and I couldn't be more grateful.

It was a circus/carnival theme, even though that isn't the theme for the nursery- in the rough draft of the invitation Jennifer kindly called me the "fat lady"... there was a slight re-write.

SpongeBob... Hells yes

35 Weeks and going strong!

  

"Aunt" Susie and Aunt Cleo

Doris, Stephanie and Aunt Sally

RoseMary, Aly and Martha

Martha and Prego Me

BFFs fo life :) Diana and Me

The cutest little girl ever, Anna

Amanda, Anna and Me

Mom and Roberta

Mandy and Aunt Anita

Rach, Tina, Sophie, Tia Vir

Tia Fab and Tia Flo

Lynne, Stina and Kira

Adrienne, Juana, Victoria and Maria

RoseMary, Rose and Aly

Rose and Me

Three Prego Muskateers

The "Sandoval" Girls :)

Grief

I am the youngest of the grandkids and therefore renamed 'Hot Lava Monster', I was the little one that no one wanted to play with- so I spent a lot of time with my Grandma and Grandpa when we spent the weekends at their house. I cooked with my grandma and gardened with my grandpa.

I think about it now and I marvel at these people, they always told us yes when we asked to stay at their house- there would be at least 4-8 of us grandkids there. They fed us, entertained us and never called our parents to come pick up our loud asses from their house.
I get worn out watching my nephew for a few hours- so now I can appreciate how much love and patience she had for us.
She had a stroke two years ago, the week before my wedding, and has been slowly declining ever since. First it was a little of her motion and speech and has progressed until the point where she was unable to get around without a wheelchair and assistance, her memory was almost completely gone and would often just start speaking to us in Spanish, even though we all speak English.
Getting a call saying that Grandma isn't doing well wasn't really a surprise, but it was still a shock to my system when I got there and she was unable to even speak or hold herself up in her chair. She'd never get back up out of that bed.
She passed away on November 14th and it breaks my heart to know that my son will never get to know her like I knew her. He will never get to yell at her for eating cookies even though she was Diabetic. He won't have to tell her "No, I'm not hungry, we just ate" and then spend the next 30 minutes dodging food until you finally just gave in and made a plate. He won't get special home made cakes with all the fancy frosting- I can try, but it just won't be the same.
I feel as if I mourned my grandma two years ago, she was never herself after the stroke. What I am mourning for is my grandpa. When my grandma was still with us and not doing well, I asked my grandpa if he was ok, what he said broke my heart.
He told me, "I didn't deserve her. She was a loyal woman, a good woman, I had 63 years with her and it was more than I could have asked for." Then he cried.
My dad has always told me he never wanted to go to a viewing for his parents, I was worried that he wouldn't go. He pulled through, I think for my grandpa. I watched the two strongest men in my life break down and it shook me to my core.
Going through the pictures, the memories I realized how much I want to be like her. Love and food can cure most things and that's what people will remember about you.